Christmas Eve 2017

Business end of the blog first.

Last weeks chemo,  despite a small hiccup went ok, I did have concerns that the newly placed port wouldn't work. We started off really well, the needle went into the port easily and relatively painlessly(!) The saline was delivered smoothly, but when the Oncology nurse tried to extract some blood out, it just didn't work.

It's ok, we tried again, removed the needle, put a fresh one in and tried again, still not working. Confirmation was given that it would be fine to use the port for the chemo, regardless if we could get a blood sample or not.

Another new needle in and tried a third time, still no way was I giving up any blood, and so it had to be taken the usual way, in the other arm, fair to say by this time I was once again feeling a little queasy!

One of my many 'angel' friends had arrived at the ward and was an excellent distraction, the nurses carried on with the job of hooking me up to my saline/steroid/fluid bags, in preparation for the chemo.

I did have the foolish notion that post chemo I would nip into town to do some Christmas shopping, forgetting that I am usually wiped out! SW wasted no time in taking charge of my shopping list ( and credit card!) and disappearing for an hour into town, returning with a completed list and fortunately my card. She said she enjoyed spending other people's money!!

Jack came into hospital to take me home, a little later than normal 2:45pm, from start to finish seems to take about four to five hours. Amazingingly my bloods seem to be holding their own, quietly pleased that haemoglobin is still a reasonably healthy 10.5, white cell count dropped to 3.2 and platelets a little low at 149 and of course the neutrophils are down to 2.48.

Arriving home to a delivery of a very large homemade lasagna prepared by another 'angel' friend was a real bonus, certainly appreciated by the rest of the family as I often come home and sleep!

As I type the Christmas table is laid in readiness for tomorrow, the turkey is in the fridge and there are presents under the tree.. I am so lucky to have such good friends and family around me, we all know that Christmas can be a sad and lonely time for many.

A few photos from this week's dog walks.

Finally, the dogs are so excited for Christmas, they asked me if they could wear their headbands....

See their happy faces? Or maybe not.......
 

Wishing you all a very Happy Christmas! xxxx

Sunday 17th December

I am pleased to say that things have not been too bad at all, the 'port' seems to have settled down a lot, and hasn't been as sore as I first thought.
I was back to the hospital again on Thursday to have the dressing cleaned and changed and it all looked very good- actually that's only hearsay, I didn't look myself, no more fainting episodes for me...
Oh, did I mention that last weeks chemo didn't go quite as smoothly as the first lot?

I started off ok, but the vein in my hand that they cannulated was very small, and it decided  to play up a bit. So I had to have blood taken from the other arm at the same time, this was all fine until in trying to get the larger needle to 'work' it was wriggled around, and then wriggled some more.

I felt a bit hot, and then Bex walked in, I looked across at her as she was giving me a "what's the matter" face, and I mouthed back, "get me a sick bowl!" She relayed my request to the lovely nurses, who quickly obliged, however that feeling passed , but was replaced with me saying in a voice that didn't sound quite like me " and now I am going to faint!".

What a drama queen! The nurses sprung into action, tipping the chair back and slapping on the  blood pressure monitor etc. Within twenty minutes normal service had been resumed and I felt fine. Just think it was a combination of drinking a hot drink, feeling too warm, and lots of needle activity!

I am a little worried that tomorrow's port access will not go smoothly, or worse it won't work, but there's no point worrying.

Good news is I get a week off over Christmas, hurrah. Also it seems that the excess fluid I had in my legs has improved significantly, still there but a lot less, which makes life more comfortable.

Wednesday sees the arrival of AB, just in time to get the jobs done before Christmas day, once again a long list has been written, I think I'll let her off cleaning out the wheelie bin this year.....but the guttering does need clearing, I'm sure we've got a long enough ladder....

Its been a bit sad not being able to do any activities other than dog walking, although I can hardly say my energy levels have been high. We had lovely sunshine on Saturday so a walk out west with friends, and then gardening most of the afternoon was perfect.

Seeing good friends this morning was also a real treat, albeit for a short time.

 A little blast from the past, who are these two?

Wednesday 13th December

The 13th unlucky for some, but it wasn't a friday.... I tried not to think of the date when I was lying on the operating table in the General Hospital this morning.

I have had a Portacath fitted which in the long run will save the nurses in oncology the hassle of finding suitable veins to cannulate, and me the discomfort of them probing!

By the way, if anyone tells you that having a 'port' fitted is fine they're lying. It was awful! Or maybe I'm just no good at having a local anesthetic and being cut, poked, prodded and pulled....

A portacath is an implanted venous access device for patients who need frequent or continuous administration of chemotherapy. Drugs used for chemotherapy are often toxic, and can damage skin, muscle tissue, and sometimes veins.

An incision of approximately 3cm is made in skin on the front of the chest and a “pocket” is created under the skin for the port. Local anaesthetic is administered to the side of the neck and using ultrasound guidance, access is gained to the vein in the neck, via a small (5mm) incision.

Anyway its done now, and Its for the best I know, back into hospital tomorrow afternoon for a dressing change. That's three visits this week, quite enough for anyone. 

Let's change the subject. 

So there was Steve a few Sunday's ago at Chapel, doing his best to play the hymns on the organ to the standard that was expected by the parishioners, when suddenly the notes started playing themselves.... he took his hands off the keys and the organ just carried on producing random music. 

Trying to stop it he pressed various buttons, but nothing worked, so in desperation he turned it off, but still it carried on. Meanwhile the congregation were sitting there in stunned silence, watching a desperately reddening man battle with the phantom playing instrument.

Finally he managed to stop the weird noises emanating from the sickly organ, and giving up on it, told the watchful audience that he would try the piano instead. 

Collecting his music and settling himself down he continued to  play the hymn he had started, but it wasn't until he began the third verse that he realised the congregation had stopped singing- bit of a mix-up with the verses I believe. 

It certainly led to some interesting discussion over the coffee and biscuits. 

Sorry, having to finish now as the anaesthetic  is gradually wearing off and painkillers are required!

Thursday 7th December

A long overdue update for those friends and family that are not on Facebook. 

Bex is doing really well, she is staying positive and doing all that is asked of her, she hasn't found any of it easy, but we admire her spirit and determination that this time she really will change her life around. 

She is growing in confidence and tackling many of her fears and anxieties head on, yes, we have days that life is a struggle, but these will get easier.

The whole family and her work colleagues have been supportive, and we feel truly blessed that so many friends have put in offers of help, we thank you all.

So, Monday morning saw me rock up at the Oncology unit actually on time (!) Thats a first, it was like a meeting of old friends. All the same lovely smiling faces and big hugs all round.

Then of course down to business, I had the cannula fitted and started with a saline drip, then a litre of fluid, and after the cisplatin (chemo drug) but only a low dose. This was followed by some more fluid. 

The whole process took about six hours, and fortunately to save parking the car Jack and Steph had dropped me in, and so Dan arrived in the afternoon to bring me home. 

I felt ok, just a little spaced out, this was even more apparent as on our way home we stopped at the shop to buy a few groceries, whilst at the till I asked for a "hundred pay cards" when in actual fact I wanted a book of an hour paycards. No comment. 

I did end up sofa surfing for a few hours, and then felt like making some soup, which I did- and put it in the aga........Tuesday morning when i was driving to yoga at 9:45am I remembered about it.....

Fair to say chemo brain has set in early. 

The first few days post chemo I've had 'chemo cheeks' looks a little like sunburn, but no problem. By Tuesday evening my legs were swollen with what I presume is excess lymph fluid, a feeling i remember well from the last operation two years ago, decidedly uncomfortable. 

I played racquetball on Wednesday morning, they didn't seem too bad, but got progressively worse as the day went on, felt like 'michelin man legs'. I did just ring Oncology and mention it, they said to come in for a blood test this morning, I said I was going to play badminton as sure that would help! 

It wasnt easy lugging what felt like an extra kilo of water around the court in my legs, and it's fair to say my badminton prowess was appalling, its not good at the best of times, reckon a slug would have been faster, but at least I could say Thank You to the club for buying me flowers, and I had a few laughs along the way, medicine in itself.

Bex and I visited the hospital together together to have our respective blood tests, and then I went to a pilates class, which I really enjoyed. Havent managed to walk the dogs at all today as needed to rest instead. 

Trying to get the balance right, (that'll be a first)- but I get firmly put in my place by one of the boys If they think I'm doing too much!

Guess who's in this month's gallery magazine? Steph and Rosie!

Jess by St Catherine's reservoir 

 Ladies night out....

I am sorry that there hasn't been a more recent posting, but the HUGE disruption that my sister caused with her four day stay put a spanner in the works so to speak!

It has been so lovely having her here, no, seriously I really mean it, even though she failed miserably on the 'jobs' front. Apparently cleaning isn't 'her thing', we never got round to making the Christmas cake, I had to do the ironing, and on the day she left we realised we'd never even managed to plant the spring bulbs! And she calls herself a gardener.

Mind you she has completely destroyed the hebe bushes that were growing rampantly in the garden, pruned them to within an inch of their lives. So disgusted was I with her refusal to do any chores I sent her out at 7:30am to get on with the task, ( it wasn't raining then).

That was another bone of contention , the weather, just because we had a few odd showers of rain, the earache I had with how lovely and sunny it was "up north". Bang out of order.

Don't worry though I got my own back, made her go to my aerobics class with the twins on Sunday morning- she had to borrow my clothes which in itself was highly amusing , and scrounged a pair of trainers off the girls.

All was going swimmingly until as we were jogging around in a circle and touching the floor with either left or right hand alternately, I glanced across and saw her going at a fair pace and stumble just avoiding a very nasty 'face plant'.

She hoped I hadn't noticed.

Fortunately she didn't fall on her face, and regained her composure quite quickly, unlike me who took a few minutes of smirking.

We were spoiled by SW buying us an overnight stay at a rather nice hotel out west, where we enjoyed the swimming/sauna/ steam as well as a lovely breakfast the next morning.

Wanting to keep Sal occupied until the last minute I suggested we went to racquetball Wednesday morning, she of course has never played ( it's a bit like squash, and she used to play that). She managed the warm up without visiting the floor face down and we played a match, that girl has biceps of steel, it's all that gardening she does. Anyway I was involved in another match when I discovered that on attempting to get to a shot had crashed into the wall and gone over on her ankle.

Had visions of going to A&E , with only three hours before her flight was due to leave. Once again she was lucky and didn't seem to have done anything too bad, but wisely retired gracefully.

Apparently the flight was on time and uneventful but during the car journey home the ankle started swelling, ice packs and painkillers required!!


All in all the four days went far too fast, but we did have such a good time ( or was that just me?). Not sure Sal had the restful short 'holiday' break she was looking forward too, returning battered and bruised !!

Bex is doing extremely well, she has made real progress with her weight gain, and is complying with all that's asked of her, she is taking the lead on many decisions and being steered into making the choices that are right for her.
( it's starting to sound like a school report!)

It's not plain sailing though and there are always good days and bad days, or just good mornings and not so good afternoons, she tires easily and has to rest lots, but it's all positive and she moving in the right direction.

Thank you to everyone for all their good wishes and messages of encouragement .

I had my pre chemo check up and chat on Wednesday , it got to a certain point and I felt like saying, stop, don't tell me anything else, it's far too depressing!! Bloods were taken, and all things being equal I start the first ( small ) dose on Monday at 9 ish. It'll take 4-5 hours as lots and lots of fluid are put through at the same time.
It's ok as they will position me near the toilet..... never mind that, four kids and two major abdominal operations I shall need to be IN the toilet.

It's not so much having the chemo, ( I've got the t-shirt- well actually two) it's the fact that my white cells are so low already, it does mean that I'm a bit of a guniea-pig, and the danger is the chemo knocks out all cells, good and bad, and I really don't have that many good ones to use to pick myself up.

Yes, I'm anxious, yes I'm annoyed at 'losing' out a day of the week sat in hospital ( it's ok , my sister says it would have been worse in the summer - she's right of course ) but I HAVE NO CHOICE! At least they feel that it's worth a pop, it's when there is nothing more they can do that I REALLY need to worry. Until then, ( or actually even after), I shall keep my pecker up.....

Finally thanks to the Merton girls for a lovely meal and night out, even if I shot off home early, it was nice to see everyone dressed in their glad rags!







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December 2017

December! How did that happen?

Photos and then posting to follow.....

Steph ready for her training run....

 The aerobic girls....

 Family supper for Pops birthday....

Reliving our childhood......

 My sister and me....