I worry that if I don't provide some update, you'll all fear the worst.
Truth be told, there's not much to tell. A seagull tried to steal a bag of crisps when we weren't looking, but that's about it. Mum continues to amaze with her ability to keep herself alive, even when dosed up on I don't know how much morphine.
You wouldn't think it, but there's a significant difference between sitting next to her and holding her hand, and just sitting on a chair looking at her. That physical connection to someone you love who's clearly dying really hits you emotionally, especially when you are completely helpless apart from being able to offer some words of comfort.
At every point in her illness, we've normalised ourselves to her condition. As a family we adapted and tried as best we could to enjoy life. Mum has lead that charge to make the most of each situation, but she's currently at her lowest ebb. It genuinely can't get any worse. It's scary to think that at some point soon she's just going to stop breathing and that will be it. The gravitas of the situation is clearly siting there in the front of my mind, but somehow it still doesn't seem real.
Thank you for continuing to blog! You're absolutely right that we are all thinking of what's happening. Xx
ReplyDeleteThank you, too. We are all thinking of you so so much x
ReplyDeleteThere are not enough words to convey our love, thoughts and prayers for Jill and you all at this time!!
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Steve, you write so eloquently and it is very moving. This girl is not for quitting! She is not quite ready to play on that big tennis court in the sky yet. We are thinking of you all. Xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for keeping the updates going - I can’t describe how valuable I’ve been finding them. You’re all in my thoughts and prayers constantly. Lots of love to you all from cousin/niece Sarah and the family xxx
ReplyDeleteI feel so much for what you're all going through right now. You have both so eloquently described much of what I experienced as I held my Dad's hand during his last few days. The waiting, the fear, the sense of helplessness, and the sadness and inevitability of what's to come. It is a bizarre process, and your writing is a helpful and poignant means to contemplate all that is happening. Hoping Jill is peaceful and comfortable. Thinking of her constantly. The hand holding is very special. Lxo
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