Thursday 14th May

Hi Guys,
I've been saying a little mantra to myself all day "Worry does not influence outcome"... but still i worry. In fact i've expended so much adrenaline today I'm totally exhausted!

Just back in from a netball AGM so couldnt blog sooner but the CT scan results were probably the best i could have hoped for in the circumstances.

Two tumors seemed to have disappeared completely and the third has remained unchanged in size. it could be scar tissue or ? they can't tell, but it's not doing anything at the minute so thats good.

My CA125 that was last taken in April ( blood marker- needs to be below 35) is showing up at 6.

The one blot (or should I say clot?) is that my blood clot is still there, i thought it was leg/groin area but it's actually fairly close to the aortic vein top of the abdomen.

Dr H was out of the Island so we(hubby came for support, can't take bad news on my own, cowardly) actually had a locum consultant tell us the news. Apparently they had arranged to 'talk' about me this week at the Marsden/Jersey weekly meetings but didn't. So its scheduled for next Tuesday. Not entirely sure when i'll get to know the outcome of that meeting.

I know I should be doing a little jig of joy at todays news but i'm still a little strung out as to what follows on from here. I dont' know about the new 'target drug ' that Dr H is trying to be allowed to give me, questions need asking, but if i don't have it ( three weekly infusions, cannulas, oncology trips and side effects) and for possibly six months or more, does it mean that the Cancer will return quickly if I don't do it ? Guessing the fact is that nobody really knows, you just have to weigh up the pro's and con's and take the course of action you see fit.

Thank you for all your messages of support..
Much love ;-)
x