I'm just back from a walk on the beach in the driving rain, the only person out there unsurprisingly.
I've had a lovely funny card from CH and flowers delivered and kind messages. I am sorry to worry everybody so, but writing this blog is one of the ways I try and deal with my emotional baggage I feel like I'm lugging about. Its so draining ' staying positive ' , and this is one of my many outlets I use.
Confiding my fears and concerns to friends, playing sport , trying to do yoga and mediate are a few others.
My dear ' chemo team' tennis partner CB who had been so helpful and supportive over the last three and half years both on and off court, took a turn for the worse just after Christmas , and although she has been at home over the last ten days, she has just gone into our wonderful hospice here in Jersey.
This has hit me hard, not just her being so ill but with the same disease as me and diagnosed just after me, but it has just smashed down all my carefully built up defences and to say I feel vulnerable and exposed is an understatement.
My thoughts and prayers are with her husband and her close family, by all accounts she is at peace with herself and from what I understand relatively pain free, and that is what really matters.
I hope to get to the hospital on Friday for a blood test and get the results next Tuesday when I see KG, I'm kind of resigned to the fact that a CT will most certainly be in the offing, but of course we can't see into the future so who knows?
Which brings me round to the simple fact that I need to live my life ' One day at a time' .
You should have had a few cheerful pics at the end of this post but they won't upload ... So I'll get my IT girl
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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