Friday 26th February

The fact I had to correct my spelling of 'February' twice, shows that's it's been another week of highs and lows, ( or that I am an atrocious speller....both actually).

Before I forget, there is a bit of a 'do' at St Martin's Public Hall on Friday the 18th March ( I can spell March) tickets are £8, I think that includes food (light supper) and a quiz. 7pm start, enter a team of up to 5 people. It's all in aid of Macmillan Jersey, and the St Martin's Wednesday group are the fundraisers. Tel 851942 or 851520 if you're interested!

And, there is another Dr Hima Curry night on the 12th March, though this is at St George's School... I'll get more info on that one, or just email me if you're keen.

Now, next subject is Bex, and thank you to everyone for their concern, it has been a very worrying time, not only for us, the parents, but more so for her. Feeling so frightened that she had something majorly wrong with her heart, and being uncomfortable with the symptoms was proving difficult to live with, but by the begining of this week she was just getting back on an even keel.

She had one minor blip on Saturday night, but was ok, until Tuesday evening. We were all sitting around the table having supper, and she had just finished ( no, it wasn't my bad cooking before you ask) when she had an 'attack'. I tried to reassure her, but it shook her up a great deal. After supper I went off to netball and she and her brother had to go to the dress rehearsal at the Young Farmers Club. (Brilliant concert by the way, if you get a chance go and see it.... but don't if you're easily offended !)
I didn't get back in the door until nearly 10:30pm, to be greeted by an ongoing discussion as to whether Bex should go to A and E.... she had been 'not right' all evening. Showered and changed, Steve and I headed back into town.
Once again the care we received at the hospital was superlative, and despite having to wait around (they're always busy), we were seen by Dr 'Rob' who took the time to examine Becky's previous ECG, do another ECG and ultrasound ( on his little portable machine) and give her what he thought was a diagnosis of her condition.
He thinks she has .....

AV nodal reentrant tachycardia (AVNRT), or atrioventricular nodal reentrant tachycardia, is a type of tachycardia (fast rhythm) of the heart. It is a type of supraventricular tachycardia (SVT), meaning that it originates from a location within the heart above the bundle of His. AV nodal reentrant tachycardia is the most common regular supraventricular tachycardia. It is more common in women than men (approximately 75% of cases occur in females). The main symptom is palpitations. Treatment may be with specific physical maneuvers, medication, or, rarely, synchronized cardioversion. Frequent attacks may require radiofrequency ablation, in which the abnormally conducting tissue in the heart is destroyed.

AVNRT occurs when a reentry circuit forms within or just next to the atrioventricular node. The circuit usually involves two anatomical pathways: the fast pathway and the slow pathway, which are both in the right atrium. The slow pathway (which is usually targeted for ablation) is located inferior and slightly posterior to the AV node, often following the anterior margin of the coronary sinus. The fast pathway is usually located just superior and posterior to the AV node. These pathways are formed from tissue that behaves very much like the AV node, and some authors regard them as part of the AV node.

The fast and slow pathways should not be confused with the accessory pathways that give rise to Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome (WPW syndrome) or atrioventricular reciprocating tachycardia (AVRT). In AVNRT, the fast and slow pathways are located within the right atrium close to or within the AV node and exhibit electrophysiologic properties similar to AV nodal tissue. Accessory pathways that give rise to WPW syndrome and AVRT are located in the atrioventricular valvular rings. They provide a direct connection between the atria and ventricles, and have electrophysiologic properties similar to ventricular myocardium.

So, now that Bex knows what it is (Well, at least a better idea), she is much calmer. He has suggested ways she can 'stop' the racing heart ( blow her nose, (equal the pressure), dip the back of her head in cold water.... and break wind!!! ....at least that suggestion made us all laugh!)

So far she doesn't seem to have had any more incidents, and now that the concert is in full swing there's lots going on to keep her busy. She has a letter for a hospital on March 18th, and another for May 12th, so more answers then hopefully. 

On another note I saw my lovely friend J Le M this week, who is looking good, the hair is starting to grow again, and despite being tired she like me is pleased to see a bit of sunshine and the daffodils growing in the hedgerows. 

Finally, many thanks to the lovely people who made my husband 'low fat cookies' they were delicious !! He felt very honoured and I'm pleased to say he is trying very hard to stick to the 'diet'...he has appointment in March to see about a forthcoming operation, although since largely cutting out fat he has had very little pain. 

Photo gallery....

Lent Lunch

 Trio of Springers....

 Beanie

Jessie

Fun in the woods...

Saturday 20th February

Less of a roller coaster ride of emotions this week, more of a seesaw I think, and thank you for all your kind .word, comments  and hugs (some virtual).

Caroline's funeral was, as funerals go, lovely, and very much a service that she would have wanted. It's true I was a mess, and found it difficult to sing during our Rising Voices piece, but luckily the other members were brilliant and sang their hearts out, she would have been proud.

In other news Beanie ( the puppy) went off to the vet on Tuesday to get spayed, an operation that went very smoothly, and now she has been on house arrest, (not easy). However we went back yesterday and the wound is healing very nicely, so she can have two 20 minute short lead walks a day. ( Not exactly what a springer would call a walk, in cookery terminology more of an "amuse bouche").

Thursday night Bex said she almost woke me up as she was in such discomfort from her heart beating "like it was coming out of my chest". Now, my children know that from a very early age unless the house is on fire or they are physically sick, they don't wake me, so when she came down the next morning  and told me about it, I said it was probably palpitations, everyone has them, and she was probably worried about the forthcoming Young farmers Concert next week.....

She duly went off to work, finishing work a bit earlier she said she'd come with me to take Beanie to the vet, on the way we were discussing how she hadn't felt 'right' all day and thought she would go to the doctors on Saturday morning. Further discussions led to 'do you need an appointment' questions, I said ring now and check. She rang, it was 4:25pm, and then we enquired if they had any appointments that evening, "yes 4:50pm!".

Quick change of plans, she dropped me at the vets and then went off to the doctors. I sorted Beanie out and then walked to Papa's and he gave me a lift home. As we arrived back the phone went and it was Bex who said the doctor suggested she went down to A and E as her heart was a little tachycardic, and had an irregular beat to it. Although as you can imagine Bex didn't quite say it like that, I had to speak to the doctor.
I put the phone down to Bex, saying Papa would drop me off, ( I put some things in a bag as she may have had to stay for a 24 hour observation). Steve walks in, the situation explained to him, he stays to sort the dogs out and off we trot.

Meanwhile unbeknown to us all Daniel had called the same doctor at 5pm and got an appointment at 5:30!! So a very tearful Becky on leaving  the consulting room was greeted with a very surprised brother, who seeing what state she was in, administered the required medicine ( a big hug and reassurance).

We arrived at the local hospital, got seen by a triage nurse within 10 minutes, who after she had put Bex on a monitor for blood pressure and pulse, and could see her pulse was racing at 150 beats a  minute, ushered us through to the resuscitation room. The staff were wonderful, I couldn't praise them enough, they gave her just the right amount of respect, reassurance and assistance as they possibly could, all with a little relaxing humour to ease what was otherwise a fairly stressful situation.

Bex was wired up to an ECG monitor and also ( brave girl) had a cannula fitted ( I fully understood that one), and then lots of questions. We waited while a few graphs were taken and then with her heart still going crazy was offered a beta blocker to calm things down. This took it from 125+ to a more normal level of between 80-90. Talk of her electrolytes in her blood being out of kilter were offered as possible explanations ( ie low in potassium or magnesium ). However all her bloods came back as normal. She had a thyroid test too, but we won't know the result for three days or so.

Two hours later we were walking back out of the hospital and driving home, exhausted, calmer, but still none the wiser. She is hopefully to have an ultrasound scan this week to see how the heart is working, and to get the thyroid results, until then she just carries on "as normal".

We are all feeling a little tired today, ( I did sleep in her bed last night as she was still anxious in case it should come back ). It's been a bit of a week.

On a separate note, I did have a lovely evening with VM, KH and SS, where we ate delicious food and had some serious (and not so serious discussions!!)

I played some great games of racquetball, tennis and badminton with good friends, and tonight look forward to a 60th birthday party....

Im ending this post with a piece taken from Caroline's Order of Service:-

'Remember Me'
Do not shed tears when I have gone but smile instead because I have lived. 
Do not shut your eyes and pray to God that I'll come back but open your eyes and see all that I have left behind. 
I know your heart will be empty because you cannot see me but still I want you to be full of the love we shared. 
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live only for yesterday or you can be happy for tomorrow because of what happened between us yesterday. 
You can remember me and grieve that I have gone or you can cherish my memory and let it live on. 
You can cry and lose yourself, become distraught and turn your back on the world or you can do what I want - smile, wipe away the tears, learn to love again and go on.

David Harkins

Sunday 14th February

Happy Valentines day.

I have been trying to update my blog all week, but I am finding it difficult to write exactly what I want to say, without it seeming too sad.

We have Caroline's funeral tomorrow afternoon, where her choir ( Steve and I included) are singing one of her favourite songs, one of the first pieces we ever sang. "Let there be Peace". I hope we manage to sing it all the way through and reasonably well. Fortunately I have asked my sister-in-law to conduct us, so it should help us to have a focus.

It's fair to say that I have been a bit shaky and emotional over these last few weeks, losing Caroline has had a big impact on me, but I don't want the whole post to be too sombre.

I have had so many offers of help, from playing a sport, having a cup of tea/walk/chat,  and that's not mentioning the lovely acquaintance ( an old netball/tennis) friend, who has me in her prayer book and was genuinely pleased to bump into me in the supermarket. I have had friends send emails, Macmillan and my consultant checking up on me, my family offering spontaneous hugs, in truth it really is very humbling to feel the enormous amount of love and concern that I have been shown.

So, I just want to say that I appreciate every single one of you, and I am truly blessed to have had my life enriched by my family ( here and all you lot in the UK) and so many friends. I do feel so 'lucky', and although It's been very hard to keep a positive outlook on my own situation the huge and varied support has helped a great deal.

THANK YOU 

XXXX


I'm just going to finish with a few photos taken from last week when hubby and I spent two days in London.....

Saturday 6th February

On this day four years ago I was told the devastating news that I probably had Cancer.

On Thursday morning whilst I was at the airport waiting for a flight to the London, I took a phone call from Chris, Caroline's husband. He told me that Caroline had passed away at about 9pm, peacefully in her sleep. Just a few hours before that the Rising Voices choir (myself included) had been thinking of her, and singing a few of our favourite songs.

She was an amazingly upbeat, positive and truly inspirational person.

I encouraged her to join me at the Macmillan coffee mornings, and through that she , and a few other ladies formed our support group, with a helping hand from Macmillan. We all loved her enthusiasm, ideas and wit.

 We played tennis at our club, and at friends houses, we entered tennis tournaments together, called ourselves the "Chemo Team"...

Caroline setup Rising Voices choir for all those people that had been touched by Cancer in some way, holding weekly practices in the Church, including people like myself who 'can't sing'. (She said everybody can sing)!

I, like a lot of people will miss her, and my deepest  heartfelt condolences go out to her husband and family.

• Those we love remain with us for love itself lives on, and cherished memories never fade because a loved one’s gone. Those we love can never be more that a thought apart. For as long there is a memory, they’ll live on in our hearts. - Author Unknown

RIP Caroline x

Tuesday 2nd February

Everybody seems very pleased with today's blood results, and whilst I'm not exactly jumping for joy, (the fact that the CA125 test marker has risen again from 12 to 16 is a very small increment), I guess at best it's OK.
My consultant KG says that while I feel fit and well, and i'm not symptomatic the best thing I can do is to go away and live my life, which I do try and do, but as we know sometimes it's not easy.

The marker is still well within the 'normal range' of under 35, and she did say that being stressed or food as well as a slight infection can raise the level. Either way It's certainly not worthy of having a CT scan, so one less thing to deal with this month.

I will go in again and have another blood test in six weeks, I guess that will be the pattern for the foreseeable future. The trick is not to look too far ahead, and I think I'll try Victoria College's motto"'Carpe diem".

In other news, my dear friend CB is still in hospice, sleeping lots but comfortable, I did bake a cake for her husband and I do plan to drop some flowers and fruit off to him to take into her tomorrow.

Just writing a short post tonight.... what with walking the dogs in heavy rain this morning, doing a yoga class, worrying a lot in hospital and then enjoying three fabulous sets of tennis, I'm worn out.....and I still have to do the ironing!

THANK YOU to everyone who takes the time to read this rambling blog, who cares about me and my family and takes the time to message, text, email and call me. Too many initials to type out but you know who you are - bless you.

Thank you to AB for my lovely flower arrangement- they are beautiful :-)

JH, sorry to make you upset at hospital and hope today's chemo wasn't too rubbish.

Ps 27:14
Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart.