Thursday 13th March

 Yesterday was exactly two years to the day since my major surgery to remove the large ovarian cancer mass, and a whole lot more besides..... and I've had a check up and blood test at the hospital this week. Monday to be exact, and its taken me this long to write about  the outcome.

Im not happy, in fact i'm in a bit of a mix up as far as emotions go, and its taken me a few days to get my head around it. I don't know why i should have been shocked, after all the odds were never good, and with close friends around me having reoccurrences it was only a matter of time before the alarm bells sound for me.

Now, of course, i could be completely jumping the gun here, and i really hope that i am, but i am also trying to be realistic about the whole issue, so i can prepare myself mentally, (not that i think you can EVER prepare for bad news).

I had my blood test last week, and fortunately Steve was around to meet me for the hospital appointment on Monday, KG was her marvellous, and incredibly compassionate self. Fully understanding that my CA 125 count that had jumped from 7 to 27 was a huge shock to me.

Of course, it is just under the 35 marker, so no immediate cause for alarm however it could be due to a number of other factors, as was pointed out at the time, a possible slight infection left over from when I was poorly with a chest infection three weeks ago (unlikely, but ...) or just a normal fluctuation that happens. I hear what everyone is saying but I don't believe them, and right now my main feeling is one of helplessness. I can do NOTHING, whatever is happening inside my body (or not) is happening and there is diddly squat i can do about it.

Other folk are far worse off than I am, every day I appreciate being able to get up in the morning, walk my dog, play my sport and enjoy life, and i really am enjoying life.

Anyway enough sadness, doom and gloom, I'm moving on now, Ive dug around in the cupboards and found my 'brave face' and I will continue to fight this battle tooth and nail, even though i'm not entirely sure how!!!!

I've been loaned my daughters old lap top, I'd forgotten how much easier it is to type on than using my Ipad, although I use that everyday and it takes great pictures!

Im ending this blog on three dog stories, only one of which is about Jess, and they are all quite amusing (disgusting!)


On 'black' Monday Stephen and I were walking the dog on the beach and chatting, it was fairly early in the afternoon so very few people about. We were quite close to the sea, and Steve had the 'thrower', Jess loves to chase tennis balls, anyway, I find if you throw the ball back the way you've come, she'll
chase it and bring it back to you as opposed to throwing it ahead of you, where she chases it, drops it and then digs in the sand for 5 minutes (don't ask). I said to him throw it behind us, and so he flipped the ball back over his shoulder and as he was turning around exclaimed in horror.  A rather nice young lady, unbeknown to us was in fairly close proximity and ducked as a rather wet, sandy tennis ball flew past her left earlobe......... he did apologise profusely....

I was minding my own business again walking Jess on La Mare beach, and had stopped to chat to a chap with two black and white springers, during our brief conversation another poodle type dog raced up to me, grabbed my 'thrower' in his jaws and gnashed on it repeatedly! 'You'll have to let it go" the 'owner' trilled at me across the beach! WHAT !!(thats what i thought anyway!) I had to drop my 'thrower' so she could distract her dog and get my thrower back !

If you eating whilst reading this blog, read no further.......

A friend who lives out west was telling us, that last weekend with the weather being so beautiful that they decided to go down to El Tico for a spot of breakfast, and take along their new King Charles spaniel puppy for a run on the beach. A good idea, and everything was going swimmingly, the restaurant was full of diners enjoying their breakfasts my friend included. Her husband took the puppy for a run on the sand, and a short time later they both appeared, the puppy running up to the large glass window in full view of the entire restaurant. "whats she got in her mouth"?my friend wonders, as the dog drew nearer, it appeared to be a piece of string. Imagine her horror when the puppy came right up
close to see that actually what she had in her mouth was a discarded 'used' ladies sanitary ware.......totally disgusting, equally that it was left on the beach in the first place.
The dog of course was not going to let it go, so my friend was rushing around the restaurants kitchen grabbing washing up liquid so her poor husband could at least clean his hands afterwards......

 Two of our netball teams from St Lawrence.....

 Green tokens for our Gynae support group at Waitrose Rue des pres.....

Primrose on the north coast by Egypt....