Saturday 28th June

This will end up being a jumbled, mixed up, random blog, full of bits of useless information with a smattering of highly intelligent facts......or not....

Did you know that the word avocado is from ahuacatl which means 'testicle' in Nahuatl, the language of the Aztecs. This is probably due to their shape and the fact they grow in pairs.... I used to quite like avocados...

Last Sunday just after I posted the blog and feeling particularly tired I headed off to bed. Imagine my dismay when taking out my earrings to find I only had one, and they only happened to be my very best diamond/sapphire earrings that hubby had given me 25 years ago... I was gutted, and tried to think where I might have lost it. The fact that I had been to keep Fit, tennis, and had a swim in the sea during the course of the day did not exactly narrow down my search area.

Waking up on Monday and still a bit miserable, I thought I might head down to the beach with the dog and have a look in the stones...like that wasn't a really stupid idea, but desperate times. It did occur to me when I found myself on the beach, down on my hands and knees talking to myself at 7:30am as I sifted through the site that I had been the night before ( no the tide hadn't been up high enough), that a) I wasn't going to find it and b) thats why we have insurance.

A few weeks ago when I was at work the class I worked in had an assembly which was all about "friends". It was lovely, with good ideas about helping others, and using lots of very special ingredients for a cake! I couldn't help but bring some of the 'sayings' home with me- here are a few:-

50g of smiles
a sprinkling of cheerfulness
I litre of sharing
a teaspoonful of helpfulness
3 heaped tablespoons of laughter
a pinch of happiness
I handful of kindness
2 spoonfuls of gentleness
lots of love

Reckon thats a pretty good mix, enough to get me through the next few weeks perhaps? Im starting to get a bit twitchy about the whole operation thing, I'd forgotten about the 6 week recovery time, no driving, no sport, no doing anything much I guess. Except ordering my family around, and feeling sorry for myself. Actually its not going to be like that at ALL, because Im going to be positive and happy and pleased that the Marsden are going ahead with this op as I do not want anything remotely nasty growing inside me thanks!

Weve got a long day on Tuesday in London with a clinic appointment in the morning and pre surgery assessments in the afternoon, but at least its not so bad with two of you. I'm thinking up a list of questions to ask the consultants already.

Dont forget I have WIMBLEDON to look forward to next weekend, hurrah! We fly out late on Friday night, tickets for court no 1 on Saturday and centre court  ( the finals) on Sunday- get in!!!!

My poor Jess had to spend a day and a night at the vets yesterday.. we did miss her so much the house was soooo empty. Silly dog had a 'hair ball' stuck in her colon, (probably rabbit fur) and it had caused her to have an inflamed pancreas... and thats not good...

Pancreatitis in Dogs

The pancreas is part of the endocrine and digestive system, which is integral for the digestion of foods, producing the enzymes that digest food, and producing insulin. When a condition occurs to cause inflammation of the pancreas, the flow of enzymes into the digestive tract can become disrupted, forcing the enzymes out of the pancreas and into the abdominal area.

If this occurs, the digestive enzymes will begin to break down fat and proteins in the other organs, as well as in the pancreas. In effect, the body begins to digest itself. Because of their proximity to the pancreas, the kidney and liver can also be affected when this progression takes place, and the abdomen will become inflamed, and possibly infected as well. If bleeding occurs in the pancreas, shock, and even death can follow. 

Inflammation of the pancreas (or pancreatitis) often progresses rapidly in dogs, but can often be treated without any permanent damage to the organ. However, if pancreatitis goes long-term without treatment, severe organ, and even brain damage can occur.

This blog wouldnt be the same without a few photos...

Billy the hunter?

Fish supper with good friends....

And to finish tonight on an amusing note? Thursday night I went to put away a pair of earrings and what did I find in my jewelry box, yes, the missing earring......I must have taken one earring out, put it in the box, and later on went into the bathroom and took the other one out, forgetting I'd already removed one, "This is seriously worrying" was the statement my husband uttered when I told him!

Sunday 22nd June

All things considered I've had a very good week, other than the news on Monday which momentarily put a spanner in the works. I am making the most of good weather and good health before the operation and whatever may follow. Still upset about our summer plans being thwarted, but its in my best interest to get rid of these bad nodes.

The latest gardening news... as you can see by the photos, my chard is growing well, and i've had the first of my tomatoes plus three cucumbers, delicious !! The garden is looking decidedly dry now, and really could do with a good downpour (only at night please!) My compost 'timetable' plan was going well, until I turned my back on the deputy gardener and unbeknown to me, he had dumped a whole load of grass cuttings in the 'wrong bin'!! He now has instructions to only put kitchen waste etc in number 1 or 3 bins, not 2 and 5....

Enjoyed playing a few games of tennis, one of racquetball and of course netball and aerobics, plus the daily dog walks. Worked on Thursday and Friday at school with the four year olds, it was lovely, they say the funniest things.
Friday night was the 70th Anniversary of the Jersey Netball Association at the Royal yacht. It was a good night, and nice for our team to pick up the runners up of division two award.

GC, PA and myself ....

More selfies with RN and JN.....

Almost forgot, picked our first raspberries too, breakfast muesli in my hand decorated bowl..

Apologies for husband's crazy face, he'd just walked up Portlet Quarry and think he was struggling to breathe! Saturday was the Governors 12 mile walk from `le `braye to town, unlike last years pouring with rain and windy, this year it was boiling hot!!

 Another view from walk

To finish off a lovely day we went out to a friends for supper and had two full platters of shellfish!

I have finally managed to get myself in the sea today, not once but twice....magic!

Monday 16th June

Think I'll just state the facts again, I've got a lot of thinking to do over the next few days, and a whole list of questions I need answers to myself, let alone giving you lot any information!

I had the phone call today from the Marsden, my consultant had managed to contact her colleague and they feel between them they can go ahead with the operation. This, as far as i am concerned is good news.

My pre assessment date is on 1st July, that will probably mean a whole day having tests, possibly scans etc.

The operation itself will be on the 14th July, I will probably have to go over the night before, I think the average stay is about a week.

These dates mean that we can indeed go to Wimbledon, (yay) but, and it is a big but, we won't be able to make our friends wedding in Birmingham on the 19th July. (Flybe happy to keep our pre paid flights money of course.... ) Gutted. We've just seen her as she flew over this weekend and discussed wedding dresses, and flowers and party music etc etc

We'd been out in our new Hornet Wolseley.....

Ok, so it was a fathers day treat from the kids....


This also throws the next wedding in Cornwall into doubt, i just dont know how i'll be, not fit enough to make a long boat journey, certainly not worth taking the dog as won't be much walking, cant describe how miserable that makes me feel. I was really, really excited about the whole trip, and now it won't be the holiday/wedding plan that I had hoped for, but, (again) although we have cancelled the boat, I am still hoping that we could fly and hire a car and drive down for the weekend at least. SC/EC, if you read this I will try very very hard to make this wedding.

Friday 13th June

Ive been so busy at School and playing sport in the evenings, that I hadn't even registered it was Friday 13th until just now, good job i'm not superstitious, don't need any more 'bad luck' thank you! (Not unlucky for TH- Happy birthday !!)

I've been thinking about me and Ovarian Cancer and life and stuff over this last week, and I thought tonight I will set this all down in the blog, and try to make a little more sense of it all.

Not being the sharpest pencil in the box it isnt easy to have 'deep profound thoughts', and it has to be said it does take me a fair while to work things out. I will start off with a few facts, these are taken from the support group www.targetovariancancer.org.uk .

‘What can be done and can it be cured?’

It is really important to emphasise that there are
lots of options for women with recurrent ovarian
cancer – the outlook for women with recurrent
ovarian cancer has improved in the past few
years and there are new and exciting treatments
becoming available. However, unfortunately, it is
rare that treatments for recurrent ovarian cancer
make the disease disappear forever – it almost
always comes back again at some point. The aim of
treatment is to keep the disease under control and
keep you feeling well for as long as possible.

I read this and thought, I guess that sums it up really, I have the disease and I have to learn to live with it. Now that I had that sorted, I thought about all my lovely family and friends who desperately want me to "get better" and believe you me so do I! However, this isn't going to happen, Oh yes I really do hope that I have long remission periods and I am going to try and live as long as I damn well can, and no, im not being pessimistic, just realistic.

This all led me to chickenpox...... (you see how my mind works), a friend of my daughters has just been diagnosed with Chickenpox, not very pleasant I must admit, bit of a temperature and an itchy rash. So, plenty of fluids, a few painkillers, lots of homemade broth etc and of course love and kindness from the family. In a few weeks he'll be back on his feet and fighting fit again, and when anybody asks how he is, the reply will be 'fine"!

I guess what I'm really trying to say is, this disease, this Cancer, this 'Voldermort" (you need to be a Harry Potter fan) is never really going away.  Unlike chickenpox, or any other malady I will never truly "get better". Sure, of course there will be a lot of times when I'm undergoing yet another batch of chemo and feeling very grumpy and sorry for myself, and all i'll be doing is talking about myself non stop!

 A few more extracts from the website;

CA 125 management

Until recently CA125 tests have been done every

three months for the first year or two then 6

monthly, as part of the ongoing ‘follow up’ and

monitoring of women with ovarian cancer.

However, some doctors and patients have also opted

not to measure CA125 levels unless the woman

develops symptoms.

A randomised controlled study conducted between

1996 and 2005 involving 1,442 women from 10

different countries, tested women’s CA125 levels

every 3 months. Neither they nor their doctor

knew the result. If the CA125 levels reached twice

the normal level, half of the women were given

immediate treatment and the other half continued

to have their CA125 measured without knowing

the result and did not start treatment until they

developed symptoms. The results showed no

survival benefit to starting treatment ‘sooner rather

than later’, and clearly states there is…” no value in

the routine measurement of CA125 in the follow-up

of ovarian cancer patients.”

This study has led to a change in practice in

many cancer hospitals. Consultants and clinical

nurse specialists are ensuring that women are

recommended that CA125 is only measured to

assess response to treatment, rather than as a

routine. Women may find this difficult to accept as

there becomes an expectation and a dependency

on being given the ‘all clear’ or being told as early

 as possible that the cancer has come back. This

philosophy ties in with the common belief that if

recurrent ovarian cancer is detected early, there

is a better result. However with ovarian, primary

peritoneal and fallopian tube cancer, once the

disease has recurred, the focus has to be on treating

the person, not treating a number

This quote was taken from the clinical trials page.....

"If we matched the achievements in breast cancer in the last 20 years, over 3,000 more women would survive each year"

 The truth of the matter is I'm worried about contacting friends i haven't seen for a while. I'd like to find out how they and their families are, and just enjoy 'normal' conversations on everyday subjects, but (and now this will sound bad) the discussions will inevitably come round to 'my cancer, my treatments etc'. Of course, all you lovely people have my best interests at heart, and I am incredibly humbled to hear that, but talking about cancer three or four times a day is hugely depressing, a fact that I  am sure you will all agree! 

I do not want to appear ungrateful, and now i've re-read the last paragraph, it does seem so, please don't take it the wrong way, there is one more extract that I copied out from "Back here again".

 You may have found from your initial diagnosis

that people around you can react in very different 

ways. Some people may be wary of raising the
subject with you, while others will want to talk
about nothing but your condition. Don’t be afraid
in either case to let people know when you do, or
don’t, want to talk. You may find that people around
you attribute labels such as ‘brave’ and ‘courageous’.
They may tell you they could never cope as you
have. The reality is we all cope in our own way with
what life throws at us. However you feel about this,
good or bad, be kind to yourself and acknowledge
that initially at least, responses from others will
vary but will likely be well intended.
Sharing the news can help you to make the necessary
arrangements for support during treatment. It is the
first stage to enlisting the help of those close to you.


Steve, the boys and Becky are all managing along the same sort of lines, not easy for them to talk about their wife/mum when they all have such busy active lives themselves. I'm sort of rambling now, as its been two hours since I started this blog, and i really have "lost the plot"!!!

Thank goodness for being British, (Jersey)if all else fails we can still talk about the weather!!!!!


PS, Apparently the 'other consultant' at the Marsden has been away on holiday and comes back next week......watch this space!!!

A great song, and a great hairstyle!

ps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtKADQnjQmc

Monday 9th June

Happy news, I'm a "Great Aunt" again ( well, of course you all knew that anyway), but now I have my 6th Great child! Four great nieces and up to last Thursday only one great nephew, ( who incidentally is called Daniel, and now we have another little Thomas. Obviously we Luces pick such fabulous names for our children our family copy us, I take that as a compliment.

Cant seem to find the photo of baby Thomas, so here's one of Jess instead....

 These are just a few photos that I thought `i would randomly post!

 A 'selfie' from the Wednesday afternoon tennis team.....

 Beautiful flowers sent in a handtied bouquet from GAB .....Thank you x

Lots of news and snippets that I have yet to tell you about, a lovely fishermans prayer that I have been sent by a friend, the latest exploits from the Luce household, and the terribly sad news that according to the latest newspaper article I was reading at the weekend, i should be enjoying the smell of the Sweet Pea flowers.....I'm not........mine are only a piddly 6 inches high and do not 'look well'....and if thats all im worried about.....

Still no news from the hospital.

Thursday 5th June

Firstly, many, many thanks to all the well-wishes, texts, cards, and flowers that I have received over these last few days, very kind of everyone.

Work has been a blessing for me this week, I have not had time to dwell or worry to much on the 'what might happen' scenarios. I even managed a game of tennis last night, (but played appallingly sadly).

Anyway, fortunately Steve had the call from the consultant at the Marsden today and it meant that he could diffuse and filter the news back to me. It's somehow better to hear it from him than a 'stranger'. I suppose that although its not 'good' news its not altogether bad......

It appears that I have two 15mm enlarged lymph nodes in my abdomen, the 'good' news is that there seems to be no other visible signs of the disease. The 'bad' news is that they are very close to my kidney and Aorta and they will be 'tricky' to remove. Although the consultant did say on Tuesday that she would like to operate if she could, the very fact that they are in such a difficult position and would need the assistance of a urologist as well as herself complicates the matter. She had not had time to consult with him, but was hoping to do so either later today or tomorrow.

So although its not brilliant, it could be far far worse I suppose. I still don't really know what will happen, it's up to them what they feel will be my best option.

We had a long day on Tuesday, but the hospital were marvelous and all the appointments, blood tests and subsequent scan went as smoothly as it could. They talked about the fact that if I did need an operation I could come in the day before and have my pre-assessment test, saves having to book two lots of flights.

Two weeks ago a colleague's husband died of a heart attack, he was only 47, tragic. At the airport I saw a parishioner whose husband was having an operation on a brain tumour, his sisters were at the hospital and she was flying over for the day to be with him. He is self employed so doesn't work, doesn't get paid, she has a job that is similar, so not only the uncertainty of the operation and all the risks it carries, but the financial strain too.

I have been to our Gynae group meeting tonight, it was good to see familiar faces and share some stories (some amusing), but listening to one of the younger ladies talk about her month she had in Southampton was sobering. She has just finished chemo , and still has no hair, she has a one year old daughter that needed an operation on her hips. The hospital is big, the wards are large, and hearing and seeing distressed very ill children was hugely upsetting. No financial help given to that couple either.
And two weeks ago her father had a heart attack.

I'm telling you this because, really, I am fortunate (lucky?) that I have a husband, family, and friends who support/pray for me on a regular basis.  I am a lot better off than a lot of other folk, so stand tall, head up, deep breath, and plenty of positive thinking. I've beaten it back into submission once, I can do it again......

Wednesday 4th June

Scan went ok.....

Results tomorrow......

And a happy birthday to my eldest today- 27 years old..... :-) x

Monday 2nd June

Choirs and Churches

A few weeks ago when we had our day trip to London,Bex and I were in need of some peace and quiet from the hurly burly fumed filled tube stations and bustling shoppers. Certainly by the afternoon the excitement of being in the Capital was wearing decidedly thin, and so quite by chance we happened upon a lovely church in Bow Lane, just down from St Pauls Cathedral. 

It was called St Mary Aldermary Church:

St Mary Aldermary is an Anglican church in Bow Lane in the City of London. Of medieval origin, it was rebuilt from 1510. Badly damaged in the Great Fire of London in 1666, it was rebuilt once more, this time by Sir Christopher Wren, unlike the vast majority of his City churches in a Gothic style.

Guild Church of St. Mary Aldermary

It had a blackboard outside welcoming us in with the lure of coffee and homemade cakes, and free wifi!! Plus we found out upon entering, comfy sofas, and best of all PEACE!

I'm now on their twitter feed, and was very comforted to read this prayer, I shall just print off the first half....

Reinhold Niebuhr

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

This blog got started early this afternoon, and now I'm trying to finish it off its gone 9:30pm and I need to eat some supper, especially as I have to fast for 6 hours before the scan...... I feel a midnight feast coming on!

As for the choir bit of the title, nothing to do with the aforementioned Church I'm afraid, but with Rising Voices choir. You've heard of the "Rhythm of Life" ? Well, I was attempting to 'sing' it at practice last Wednesday, and as I can't read music, or actually sing it was proving somewhat tricky. A few of us were in the 'middle' section and singing slightly different parts from the two groups either side of us. It's fair to say we got in a bit of a muddle, none of us being very strong or good singers. 

Anyway, suddenly everyone was singing the last three notes, "Life, Life, Life" and we simultaneously realised that not only were we a bit behind them all, we were actually THREE PAGES behind !!!!!!!