Friday 13th June

Ive been so busy at School and playing sport in the evenings, that I hadn't even registered it was Friday 13th until just now, good job i'm not superstitious, don't need any more 'bad luck' thank you! (Not unlucky for TH- Happy birthday !!)

I've been thinking about me and Ovarian Cancer and life and stuff over this last week, and I thought tonight I will set this all down in the blog, and try to make a little more sense of it all.

Not being the sharpest pencil in the box it isnt easy to have 'deep profound thoughts', and it has to be said it does take me a fair while to work things out. I will start off with a few facts, these are taken from the support group www.targetovariancancer.org.uk .

‘What can be done and can it be cured?’

It is really important to emphasise that there are
lots of options for women with recurrent ovarian
cancer – the outlook for women with recurrent
ovarian cancer has improved in the past few
years and there are new and exciting treatments
becoming available. However, unfortunately, it is
rare that treatments for recurrent ovarian cancer
make the disease disappear forever – it almost
always comes back again at some point. The aim of
treatment is to keep the disease under control and
keep you feeling well for as long as possible.

I read this and thought, I guess that sums it up really, I have the disease and I have to learn to live with it. Now that I had that sorted, I thought about all my lovely family and friends who desperately want me to "get better" and believe you me so do I! However, this isn't going to happen, Oh yes I really do hope that I have long remission periods and I am going to try and live as long as I damn well can, and no, im not being pessimistic, just realistic.

This all led me to chickenpox...... (you see how my mind works), a friend of my daughters has just been diagnosed with Chickenpox, not very pleasant I must admit, bit of a temperature and an itchy rash. So, plenty of fluids, a few painkillers, lots of homemade broth etc and of course love and kindness from the family. In a few weeks he'll be back on his feet and fighting fit again, and when anybody asks how he is, the reply will be 'fine"!

I guess what I'm really trying to say is, this disease, this Cancer, this 'Voldermort" (you need to be a Harry Potter fan) is never really going away.  Unlike chickenpox, or any other malady I will never truly "get better". Sure, of course there will be a lot of times when I'm undergoing yet another batch of chemo and feeling very grumpy and sorry for myself, and all i'll be doing is talking about myself non stop!

 A few more extracts from the website;

CA 125 management

Until recently CA125 tests have been done every

three months for the first year or two then 6

monthly, as part of the ongoing ‘follow up’ and

monitoring of women with ovarian cancer.

However, some doctors and patients have also opted

not to measure CA125 levels unless the woman

develops symptoms.

A randomised controlled study conducted between

1996 and 2005 involving 1,442 women from 10

different countries, tested women’s CA125 levels

every 3 months. Neither they nor their doctor

knew the result. If the CA125 levels reached twice

the normal level, half of the women were given

immediate treatment and the other half continued

to have their CA125 measured without knowing

the result and did not start treatment until they

developed symptoms. The results showed no

survival benefit to starting treatment ‘sooner rather

than later’, and clearly states there is…” no value in

the routine measurement of CA125 in the follow-up

of ovarian cancer patients.”

This study has led to a change in practice in

many cancer hospitals. Consultants and clinical

nurse specialists are ensuring that women are

recommended that CA125 is only measured to

assess response to treatment, rather than as a

routine. Women may find this difficult to accept as

there becomes an expectation and a dependency

on being given the ‘all clear’ or being told as early

 as possible that the cancer has come back. This

philosophy ties in with the common belief that if

recurrent ovarian cancer is detected early, there

is a better result. However with ovarian, primary

peritoneal and fallopian tube cancer, once the

disease has recurred, the focus has to be on treating

the person, not treating a number

This quote was taken from the clinical trials page.....

"If we matched the achievements in breast cancer in the last 20 years, over 3,000 more women would survive each year"

 The truth of the matter is I'm worried about contacting friends i haven't seen for a while. I'd like to find out how they and their families are, and just enjoy 'normal' conversations on everyday subjects, but (and now this will sound bad) the discussions will inevitably come round to 'my cancer, my treatments etc'. Of course, all you lovely people have my best interests at heart, and I am incredibly humbled to hear that, but talking about cancer three or four times a day is hugely depressing, a fact that I  am sure you will all agree! 

I do not want to appear ungrateful, and now i've re-read the last paragraph, it does seem so, please don't take it the wrong way, there is one more extract that I copied out from "Back here again".

 You may have found from your initial diagnosis

that people around you can react in very different 

ways. Some people may be wary of raising the
subject with you, while others will want to talk
about nothing but your condition. Don’t be afraid
in either case to let people know when you do, or
don’t, want to talk. You may find that people around
you attribute labels such as ‘brave’ and ‘courageous’.
They may tell you they could never cope as you
have. The reality is we all cope in our own way with
what life throws at us. However you feel about this,
good or bad, be kind to yourself and acknowledge
that initially at least, responses from others will
vary but will likely be well intended.
Sharing the news can help you to make the necessary
arrangements for support during treatment. It is the
first stage to enlisting the help of those close to you.


Steve, the boys and Becky are all managing along the same sort of lines, not easy for them to talk about their wife/mum when they all have such busy active lives themselves. I'm sort of rambling now, as its been two hours since I started this blog, and i really have "lost the plot"!!!

Thank goodness for being British, (Jersey)if all else fails we can still talk about the weather!!!!!


PS, Apparently the 'other consultant' at the Marsden has been away on holiday and comes back next week......watch this space!!!

A great song, and a great hairstyle!

ps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtKADQnjQmc