Thank you

I know I must be poorly.... I've had not one but two Harvest Festival goodies from the parish Church/Chapel. Goodness that brings back memories of taking the children to the services, each with their own 'gifts' for the Harvest table, ready to be distributed to the elderly or infirm- I'm not sure which category I fit into, both probably!

Anyway, It was lovely to receive the parcels from the 'volunteers' doing the round, and we very much appreciated the kind words on the cards.

Steve and I attended the service of the Institution of the new Vicar at St Martin de Gouray last week, and it was humbling to know that I am on their prayer list too.

Thanks must also go to SP and JP for their beautiful bouquet of flowers which are brightening up my dining room, that was a lovely surprise.



The best news this week is the fact that my BF  is over from the UK (with her husband I hasten to add) and while they absolutely LOVE me, staying with me is far too stressful! They liken it to living with a hurricane and there's been far too many of those in recent weeks.

So they are staying in a hotel in town and can just about cope with me in short bursts, they are on holiday after all!

We both 'do' yoga, and so she came to my class on Tuesday.... and was far more flexible than me, (well, she has far shorter legs for a start, so what do you expect... I know, I know that bears no relation on whether you can touch your toes or not #justsaying) .

Meeting her the next day, I noticed she had a strange gait as she walked towards me..... suffice to say she she hasn't attended  any of the other classes.

I have been searching for about three years (no exaggeration !) for my 'book of quotes' which was a present from a good friend, and I have finally found it in my husbands office ( how dare he,  mind you he probably needs the funny ones for his day job), anyway I digress, so once again the more positive inspirational ones will be appearing on these pages.

Finally, after the short update this morning I spent an hour or so at the hospital yesterday arranging flights for Tuesday, the airlines are now on winter timetable as from next week, so that and the fact I don't have any paperwork made the whole process I lot tricker.

We are sorted now and due to fly out at 9am and back 5:15pm with an appointment hopefully between 11am-12 noon.

I need to write a list of questions, and fortunately Steve can come with me, I am only able to retain a limited amount of information at any given time.

We are supposed to be going on holiday mid October, and I need to know whether that will still be possible.


And so to the picture gallery....

 Early swim at la coupe with 'the girls" ...



Post yoga class with BF ...

 The Grosnez to Plemont path....

My lovely friend J leM, (a little jaunt along the breakwater at St Catherines.) 

My flowers

"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
George Burns

Thank JC, brilliant 'homemade' card... #talented

Friday 29th September

Off to the Marsden on Tuesday the 3rd  October, managed to sort out flights yesterday so can just do a day return....

Weekend Exploits

Just a short update to say .....there is no update. No word by either letter, call or email from the Marsden this week.

Text my lovely consultant who is going to chase them up tomorrow morning. They probably expect me Tuesday as it's clinic day, and I'll get the letter Wednesday....

Managed to keep myself busy, and fortunately I have been in less pain (with leg, groin) over the last few days and so it's been easier to 'forget' about this wretched disease.

Mind you my stomach muscles have been sore, and that's only because of laughing at the various comments (blog included) and 'stick' my husband has received regarding his poor lawnmower buying skills.

I've managed three swims in the sea over these last three days, and seen the sunrise. Its been magic.

 Watched the Super League Triathlon with Jonny Brownlee in the Marina/waterfront in our beautiful Island, which was AMAZING. So lucky to get up close and see the action, and all for free!!

 Swimmers rounding the yellow buoy.

 Been on lots of dog walks.

 Enjoyed fitness classes ( but missed 'the noisy one' last week )

Another day, another sunrise...

Played in tennis vets against Guernsey today, sadly lost tournament (and my ladies matches) but won my mixed..Whoop whoop ..

Just love this pic!

Lawn mowers?

I don't expect you thought the heading of tonight's post would be about lawn mowers did you?

Sometime back I broke our old lawn mower, it was an electric one, and had been used and abused (mostly by me) over a fair number of years, and so my very super efficient husband set out to purchase a new one.

Rather than waste time traversing all the shops that stock lawnmowers he looked online at a local shops website and seeing they had the same make as our old one, hightailed it down to the store before closing time.

He took our daughter, and after having parked the car, strode into the shop, went to the correct section of the store that had the mowers on display and seized the one that matched ours. Our daughter didn't have time to draw breath or tell him about offers on other machines, he was in far too much of a hurry.

Feeling very smug he arrived home with his purchase, telling me how the whole drive plus transaction had taken him only thirty minutes- look at that for efficiency, and "it was cheaper than our old one"!!

A short time later we went out into the garden to begin tackling the green grass that we like to call our "lawn", only to discover that the machine that had been bought in such haste was in fact...... a toy.

Well, thats not exactly true, it is a real lawnmower but it might just as well have been a toy.

It is small and very lightweight, and there are no height settings, the plastic handle feels like it may snap at any moment and the grass collection box needs emptying every five minutes.

Other than that it's fine, no wonder it was cheaper!

This afternoon it was me for the first time that used the new 'mower' to cut the grass, and it was as I was creating my 'stripes' ( I've seen bigger stripes coming out of a toothpaste tube) that I recalled the day that 'we' bought the lawnmower and the whole episode made me smile.

Which was a good thing, as the news I had this morning from my oncologist certainly didnt make me smile at all.

I have sites of two tumours in my abdomen and a fairly large one in my left groin (which explains the discomfort I have been feeling over the last few weeks ... not a pulled ligament then). My oncologist over here suggested chemo but the Marsden said no, it appears they would like to see me.

 I'm up for that, and it was good to hear that my genetics doctor was in on the meeting this morning, and the fact that Dr NB in Jersey was slightly surprised by how well they all seemed to know me... I think thats a good thing?!

I will wait now for the Marsden to contact me, if I haven't heard anything by the end of the week I will contact KG, she'll be able to email/ring people and find out whats happening.

Meanwhile I'm not going to sit around and look miserable, I've got netball/racquetball and tennis matches to play......but no more grass to cut, at least not for a few days!!

Thursday 14th September

Goodness me I've actually written this blog post about five times in my head. If I had written it on Tuesday you'd have had a very sour account, full of anxiety, depression and moments of blind panic.

If I had written it yesterday you would have got a complicated list of my minor ailments and emotional insecurity.

But.... today is Thursday and so this is a level headed account (?!) of the past few days.

I had a CT scan on Monday, along with a blood test. All was fine and went without a hitch. Tuesday morning I had a call from KG to say they have only managed a cursory glance at the scan but couldn't see anything major ( ie a large tumour), but it was going over to the Marsden for them to look/compare with an older scan.

Tuesday evening I had another call from KG to say no scan news, but my CA 125 which was previously 585 had jumped to 1,080. I think thats in about 4 weeks.

This is really not good news.

One explanation is maybe I have LVD (low volume disease) and there are just masses of small tumours growing everywhere.  It is no good speculating, it may be that I need a PET scan to see if that is the case.

Anyway nothing can be done this week. The next MDT meeting is Tuesday 19th where my case will be discussed and a plan formulated. I know I have KG fighting my corner, and maybe my oncologist, but I have also taken the liberty to ring the Marsden today and speak to my genetics consultant.

She unfortunately is away on holiday, but i have spoken to her clinician and requested that if its possible she attends the meeting too! She has put me on Letrozole ( the hormone drug) and I feel its a good idea to get as many heads together to bounce around ideas.
Dr AG is also extremely lovely, and it does help if the consultants who are talking about you have actually met you in person.

It may be that she has already been 'invited', but I thought It couldn't hurt to ask.

Just looking around my kitchen and desk I am surrounded by positive uplifting quotes and phrases, and thought I'd share a few with you. I know they help me on a daily basis.

Here is one that considering the weather we've had is very apt.

Never give up No matter what is going on Never give up Develop the heart Too much energy in your country is spent Developing the mind instead of the heart. Be compassionate not just to your friends but to everyone Be compassionate. Work for peace in your heart and in the world. Work for peace and I say again Never give up. No matter what is happening, No matter what is going on around you, Never give up.

- His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Thursday 7th September

Saturday saw the arrival of one mad aunt... and the week has been pretty crazy since.

On Monday I had the results of the bone marrow test, and some blood results. The good news is that I have 'normal' chromosomes in my bone marrow- such a change to actually have something normal about me.

It seems I have a  mild myelodysplasia and If I required no further treatment ie chemo then I could possibly manage quite well, although in the accompanying letter it refers to my particular MDS group as "having a median survival of 8.8 years, but it's very rare for this group to progress to Leukaemia".

Oh, so thats ok then, and the fact that the Ovarian Cancer will get me before the MDS does.......all cheering stuff to hear/read about.

It is shocking but I'd rather have the news straight , even though it is painful to hear.

Steve asked me yesterday morning what I was up to for the day, I said mostly "not thinking".

I think other than 3am (4am?) the worst time is that moment between sleep and waking, when you are just drifting into consciousness, and you are blissfully calm. Then you remember you have cancer, and its like a Tsunami thundering into your mind, the pain feels almost physical. Thats tough.

Two lovely ladies I know of this week have sadly passed away, one was a nurse known by many people on the island, a truly good soul who looked after and cared for everyone. The other was an old school friend who for many years has lived in Australia.
RIP x

In fact there seems to have been quite a few sad news items this week, my lovely neighbour has not been at all well, and is currently undergoing tests, a difficult time for her and her family. My friends mum is poorly and already had one round of chemotherapy.

At one point my son told me quite sternly to "stop worrying about everyone else, as it was making me too sad!" He said of course I was allowed to be concerned, but not to get so emotionally involved. Its very hard when you think a lot of your friends not to be worried for them.

Talking of friends, I was sad to miss out on two friends who visited the island a few weeks ago and managed to swim in the sea! Neither has been well but with different health issues, so for them to make it over and have a bit of a break must have been a real tonic.

Finally and again on the subject of friends, straight after the hospital appointment on Monday,  Steve and I drove down to St Catherine's and popped over to the Ecrehous on a fast RIB (!) before enjoying a gorgeous supper in France, and returning a few hours later in a beautifully calm sea crossing (which is just as well otherwise it could have been messy considering the food and drink that was consumed!)