Thursday 7th September

Saturday saw the arrival of one mad aunt... and the week has been pretty crazy since.

On Monday I had the results of the bone marrow test, and some blood results. The good news is that I have 'normal' chromosomes in my bone marrow- such a change to actually have something normal about me.

It seems I have a  mild myelodysplasia and If I required no further treatment ie chemo then I could possibly manage quite well, although in the accompanying letter it refers to my particular MDS group as "having a median survival of 8.8 years, but it's very rare for this group to progress to Leukaemia".

Oh, so thats ok then, and the fact that the Ovarian Cancer will get me before the MDS does.......all cheering stuff to hear/read about.

It is shocking but I'd rather have the news straight , even though it is painful to hear.

Steve asked me yesterday morning what I was up to for the day, I said mostly "not thinking".

I think other than 3am (4am?) the worst time is that moment between sleep and waking, when you are just drifting into consciousness, and you are blissfully calm. Then you remember you have cancer, and its like a Tsunami thundering into your mind, the pain feels almost physical. Thats tough.

Two lovely ladies I know of this week have sadly passed away, one was a nurse known by many people on the island, a truly good soul who looked after and cared for everyone. The other was an old school friend who for many years has lived in Australia.
RIP x

In fact there seems to have been quite a few sad news items this week, my lovely neighbour has not been at all well, and is currently undergoing tests, a difficult time for her and her family. My friends mum is poorly and already had one round of chemotherapy.

At one point my son told me quite sternly to "stop worrying about everyone else, as it was making me too sad!" He said of course I was allowed to be concerned, but not to get so emotionally involved. Its very hard when you think a lot of your friends not to be worried for them.

Talking of friends, I was sad to miss out on two friends who visited the island a few weeks ago and managed to swim in the sea! Neither has been well but with different health issues, so for them to make it over and have a bit of a break must have been a real tonic.

Finally and again on the subject of friends, straight after the hospital appointment on Monday,  Steve and I drove down to St Catherine's and popped over to the Ecrehous on a fast RIB (!) before enjoying a gorgeous supper in France, and returning a few hours later in a beautifully calm sea crossing (which is just as well otherwise it could have been messy considering the food and drink that was consumed!)