One Day at a Time: Saturday April 2nd 2016

I have started this post about three times and still I really don't quite know how to begin it, without sounding too melodramatic, or serious or depressing.

The facts or how I see the facts could well be a bit different from how the various members of the family see them, but I shall do my best to explain what has been happening over the last few weeks.

I was playing badminton a few weeks ago and in stretching for a low shot felt a sharp pain in my abdomen, not enough to stop me playing but made me aware it hurt a bit.

Two days later I played racquetball and there was some more mild discomfort when I went for a some difficult shots, but once again I didn't really focus on it, other than to think I had pulled a 'tummy muscle'.

Ten days ago I was playing tennis, and once again the pain was there, and suddenly it hit me, this wasn't a 'tummy muscle', Oh how could I be so stupid as not to see that this was another tumour, grown in the site of the partially removed tumour from the last operation in August 2014.

That was it, my brain was totally scrambled, I was uncomfortable with this now seemingly constant nagging dull pain, and I mentioned to Steve I was going for a blood test, I couldn't hang on until the end of April as I had planned.

He was brilliant, reassuring and as calm as ever, and so I text my fabulous consultant who also said come in whenever and I'll take a look at you, bless her.

I'll skip over the emotional state I was in as you wouldn't want to read all about that, suffice to say I was not in a good place mentally. Losing my friend CB, ( I talked to her husband on the phone this week and he is being so well looked after by everybody he says he hasn't a minutes peace ) is still in the forefront of my mind. Two other close friends are also in the thick of this rotten disease, and It's just everywhere you look , it seems as though a day can't go by without some mention of wretched cancer.

I went for a blood test on Thursday, and saw KG, she also examined me, we discussed stuff. She said the pain was very near my scar, it could be scar tissue, it could be an intercostal pulled muscle, and that pain can stay with you a long time. If I needed a scan, she would book it .

I came home, and waited for her call, (that's not strictly true, I did Pilates, food shopping, walked the dogs and went to Yoga, and then I waited.....well, you know what I'm like). Early evening she called me, starting the conversation with "I know you'll be disappointed but, and It's the not the news you want to hear but".

My liver, kidneys etc all seem to be fine, my white cells are still low (no surprises there then) but my CA 125 (tumour marker) has gone up from 16 to 28. This is still in the 'normal' range, however I don't need to spell it out.

I have decided to postpone the scan until the next blood test, I don't see the point in having one just yet, if the tumours are still small the scan wont pick them up. I am going back in to have a blood test the end of April and will book one in then for May.

Steve and I are away on Thursday night to the UK to see my family , its AB's belated 70th birthday celebrations, and I am so excited at the thought of seeing my two brothers and sister again after nearly a year. I am also catching up with my UK best friend, so my emotions are running a lot higher than normal ( and as we all know i'm pretty emotional at the best of times.)

I was just going to keep this all quiet and get on with enjoying the weekend, but now I have had a few days to work through it, I thought it best to be up front and put all the rubbish in this blog, and then I can 'forget' about it, maybe....

Thanks once again, especially my Jersey councillor, you know who you are...

Picture Gallery:-

Boasting.... photo in the JEP