Post party blues.

Tricky day Monday, lots of tired faces, mine included and I did nothing. Clearing up all done on Sunday, but still little jobs that needed addressing come the start of the week.

Plus the majority of my family had to leave the island, its never easy to say goodbye, but of course this time is particularly painful. I appreciate they are only a flight away, but sometimes even that feels too far.

There's never enough hugs, kisses  or "I love you's" that make up for being with that person in the flesh. Don't get me wrong, my Jersey family are HUGELY supportive, I have absolutely no idea how I would have coped without them. Friends are queueing up to help out, meals/washing/ironing/ etc.

Cards with heartfelt messages, flowers, and texts/email are still being delivered on a daily basis. I'm sorry If I don't reply to everyone, I'm missing birthdays, anniversaries and plenty more beside, once again my apologies. I'm usually on top of the game, but not having driven myself for over two weeks, or been in a shop etc, my focus has had to be on myself. (I always was ME ME ME !)

Monday, on the plus side my coughing is much better, my pain is under control (more or less) I'm off the IV antibiotic, ( now on oral) no drain, no gripper needle stuck in my chest port, life should be easier, but...............my breathing is really quite bad. I can't manage even short distances without my nose tubes plugged in. I sleep with the the rhythm of the oxygen converters whooshing and sighing, (I say 'sleep', it is of sorts, but frequently wake struggling for breath and coughing, scary).

Did manage to get out of the house and 'go for a drive in the car', that's what happens when you're ill, old and infirm, you get little outings ( took the oxygen, forewent the blanket).

Popped into the chemist for drug supplies, and as Steve had woken with a very sore inflamed elbow/arm, told him to speak to the pharmacist about it. Very quickly it was ascertained he needed to go to the doctors, appointment booked and off he went.Anti-histamine and antibiotics straight away, but unsure of the cause. Steph marked the area with permeant marker...to see if the inflamed area grow,  he doesn't feel 100% unsurprisingly. This has resulted in smashing a plate from the dishwasher, a slightly raised temperature and a mild confusion on my drug administration.

I've told him, he has no right to upstage me, so at the moment we are bumbling around each other like the blind leading the blind. He got sent off with Bex this morning to attend a meeting at hospital (!) with her, she was seeing Dr AS from Guy's hospital regarding her BRCA 2 gene amongst other stuff.

They chatted for quite some time, and he asked after me, and apparently has been doing quite a lot of thinking about the whole family. The fact that I am so chemo sensitive, my children who all had a 50/50 chance of inheriting the gene, all have it a 6% chance of all four having it, and various other seemingly confusing and conflicting evidence. Interesting. I think he is trying to get to understand Bex and all her issues, and will talk to the Southampton team who's care she was under originally.

Today Tim and Janet had the pleasure of taking me into hospital for bloods and chemo, we met up with Sue, its now a tie between Sue and Tim which is the worst "Porter Chair Pusher/Puller" in the world. Close. They do however both claim the chair is at fault, by not having swivel wheels at the front. You know what they say about a bad workman...

Bloods taken , port had severe talking to, but behaved. Wheeled ( badly) down to X-Ray, had chest scan. Back on Oncology, had a call from Dr PS who said  small accumulation of fluid, but not enough to worry about, suggested if bloods were good, then chemo. Once again amazingly bloods (despite HB dropping) were good ( what's that all about??) They said I looked ok, better than last week , (is shortness of breath, tubes up your nose a good look?, maybe its the new blusher??).

Had chemo, fell asleep ( first time?) poor Sue, she said she didn't mind! It's what I needed. Too much excitement, effort and anti-histamine.

We leave, this time I engage a professional porter.... our chair was stolen whilst having chemo!

The joke was on me, as Sue being ever helpful went to bring the car around to the back of the hospital so I could just 'jump' straight in. We had drugs to pick up from pharmacy. The Porter took me to the counter, wrong counter as it turns out. Luckily I knew girl in front of me. We chatted, Porter took phone call, explained to me he had to go, but the staff would ring and he would come back! He 'parked' me between the two counter, close to neither. As it turns out knew the lady waiting at the next counter, we chatted.

I stretched between counters trying to explain about a script I had no paper for..., man behind decided he could take my brakes off and move me, meanwhile the nice lady behind counter said she'd come around, and speak to me,  meanwhile I exaggerate not, a queue of 8/9 people had built up behind  me and both counters.

She said, 'lets just move you out of the way a bit," a sensible move as I felt a little abandoned! We chatted she understood and whizzed off to see what she could do. All the other 'drug collectors' pretended not to listen but were probably pleased of the the amusing distraction of the entertainment to relieve the boredom.

Script handed over and I thanked her profusely, Sue sat in the chaos out of the back of the hospital waiting...... First friend had stayed, offered to 'drive' me to the car, brave brave move.. we managed, few hairy moments, but I did thank her!!

Finally, did I tell you about last week, when we left EAU? I was being stubborn (!) and said I don't need oxygen and walked along from one ward along the length of the other, of course by the time I got to the reception I couldn't get enough breath to speak. Steve who had been carrying the portable oxygen turned to me, slightly embarrassed and said through gritted teeth "Put....your....oxygen.... on". meekly I did as I was told, and within two minutes tried to speak, managing just, before I turned to him and said "I don't think you've turned it on".... now who was embarrassed! We both ended up laughing, although mine was more snorty, silent, sniggering.

Can you tell I have had steroids today?

 Our flower/vegetable garden, i finally got to see...