Monday........

The day started well enough, hubby, daughter and I out of the house by 7:35am and driving into town (me in my glad rags, ie not wearing jogging bottoms) with the promise of breakfast at the Pomme D'or, a real treat! Of course there was a flip side to the 'buying breakfast for the wife', and that was the VERY IMPORTANT swearing in service in the Royal Court at 9:30am for all the new ( and existing) states members. It all went swimmingly, and everybody was smiling including me as it had stopped raining as we came out and of course that makes everyone happier!

The Church service followed, and again it was lovely to be soaking up the delicious warmth and ambience that the Town Church provides, as well as the amazing sound the new organ produces. The Bailiff read an extract from Proverbs in the Bible and it ends with "Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Only fools despise wisdom and discipline.
Excellent advice to Politicians I think... anyway I digress, a few of us ladies had time to kill so we trundled off for a coffee and chat. Feeling particularly buoyant and upbeat I made my way to the hospital for my blood test, spurred on by the amount of compliments i had had about looking well.

Three quarters of an hour later, my bubble burst, the results whilst not exactly terrible were really not good at all. My Hb ( red cells) were right down to 9.1, White cells dropped to 1.9, Neutrophils 1.6, Oh, and those pesky platelets picked up to 98!

Suddenly I was surrounded by perplexed, concerned faces and my 'good day' was unravelling.

Apparently "I had options'", which as it turned out I really didn't , they were just outlining a new plan, which started with another blood test ( I'd already had one) so they could cross match my blood. Then various calls to haematology for a prescription on GCS-F  ( the injection to boost white cells that make your bones ache, as you force the marrow to go into overdrive). Finally, trying to find me a bed on a ward tomorrow for a blood transfusion.( which by the way they haven't managed yet, I report into Oncology to get a cannula fitted at 9am, and then wait.....) By the time this was sorted I had had a sense of humour failure.

I was hungry, (it was 1:30pm) emotional and miserable. The nurses of course were lovely, and the positive side to all this being that I will be able to have Chemo on Thursday.. However despite wearing my 'brave face' it just took me to see a good friend SQ who happened to be waiting in the hospital ( and had been for over three hours....best not ask !) and it all spilled out. Fortunately she's had four children also so she is used to minor outbursts like mine, and soon had me sorted out!! As it happens I also bumped into someone from the tennis club who was hugely sympathetic and another good friend who works at the hospital KB. All offered comfort and good advice, and it helped me regain some of my composure before too long.

Meanwhile I had been staying in contact with Bex who had finished work, done 'my' shopping and was waiting in the bus station- we had arranged to bus home as Steve was still in IMPORTANT meetings. I called her as i left the hospital she asked where I was as the bus left in two minutes, I said no problem I'll run!!! What was I thinking!!! I was wearing boots with a reasonably high ( well for me) heel, I had a head wind, and my red cells were so low that i get puffed walking upstairs ( ok, so slight exaggeration, up le saie hill anyway). I half fell, half staggered into the station to be greeted by Bex shaking her head disconsolately  and saying "we've missed it, I tried to ring you " ( accusingly, like it was my fault) this time sighing slightly " I expect your phone was still on silent, It's ok we can get the next one".
It's fair to say it took me the best part of five minutes before I could breathe properly let alone speak to her, I'm not trying that stunt anytime soon.

Once back home it was time to change, and walk the dog. This helped sort out the topsy turvy day , and I think the quote that i found in the "Keep calm and carry on" book sums it up .

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
Anne Frank.